VRILL INSIGHTS |
HOME IS WHERE… |
For the past five months I've been switching AirBnb’s monthly. |
My friends keep asking me, "when are you coming home?" |
At least once a month I hear this. It made me think about what it is that we call home. |
Is it the place I live in or is the place I come from? |
Is it where my friends and family live or is not even a place at all? |
We always long for what we don't have. We always, and I mean always, view the grass as greener on the other side. |
Why? Because it's built in. The idea that something else could be better is probably the strongest driving force for human exploration and innovation. |
But, the sense that what we have is not what we should have is also one of the greatest sources of suffering. |
Home as continuity among chaos |
Each month, new place, new environment, new routine. |
The more I do this the more it becomes clear who I am. Who we think we are has a lot to do with where we live. |
With what we do on daily basis, on who we hang out with, on what we spend our time on. |
Your sense of identity is constantly getting external validation. The more we strip that away the more bare it becomes. |
We have to stand on our own two legs. Our identity no longer has the previous justification it used to, to define itself. |
And so, we are forced to contend with who we actually are. |
I become the continuity among the chaos. Am I home to me? |
That doesn't feel right. |
Home as a feeling, not a place |
While on the plane to Thailand I put on a Brute space. In response to a question about leaving your business to pursue your dream despite the business doing well he said, |
Somewhere in my twenties I decided to never again do anything I didn't want to. I'd rather be living in dirt than have a good job I hate. |
This made me think about home as the the metaphorical place of living congruent to your goddamn spirit. |
When the chaos does not matter because you choose the chaos and that chaos was chosen for you. |
But, then again we are social beings. We need more than constantly being in the chaos made for us. Although it is an excellent start. |
Home as belongingness and resonance |
If home has to do with people and people are everywhere is home not the place where you find "your" people? |
I am unique and so is everyone else. Surely there are people out there more aligned to me than other. |
If I find a place where those people live I should be able to easier find home. |
Maybe home is where the environment support your authentic expression. In a sense, where you can be you. |
Over the years I've come to realize where I truly explore who I am is in the metaphorical dance with other people. |
The place where you can dance freely is a place easier to call home. |
But is that enough? |
Home as the tension between freedom and rootedness |
As someone who is living the dream life I had when I was 17, I gotta admit that I was off. I thought that as long as I made $1000/mo online I'd be happy. |
I could live in poor beautiful places close to the ocean. |
As I travel more and more I realize that the only thing we need is home. |
There is a difference between living in a place and being in a place. |
For nomads the tension between being and living, vacation and work is hard. |
Am I a tourist? Not really. |
Am I a local? Not really. |
We walk a thin line between freedom and rootedness. We need a sense of rootedness to get into a routine that allows us to do the work we need to move forward. |
But we live this lifestyle for the freedom it gives. To not take advantage of that freedom feels like a waste. |
Why live so far away from friends and family only to live the same as I would in my home town? |
I crave what's next as much as I crave the stability necessary to get me where I want to go. |
Yesterday I arrived, for the first time since beginning the travels, in a place I had previously been. That sense of home I had missed came back. |
Not because it felt familiar but because it ticks a lot of the boxes of what home is. Something I never would’ve realized had I not gone on this journey. |
For periods of our lives we need to be homeless for home to reveal it self. Only then will we feel truly at home. |
Home is not a place nor is it metaphorical |
Home is all of the above. |
It is the continuity among the ever changing. |
It is the chaos you choose. |
It is the place where the people around you support your growth, internally and externally. |
It is the intersection between freedom and rootlessness. The balance between exploration and stability. |
Home can be found anywhere but we all need it. |
Just because you have a home doesn't mean you feel at home. |
So, do not go on living without a home wherever you are geographically. |
BY @MJ |